i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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