I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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