I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize