I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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