Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
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I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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