I am in a vortex of obligation.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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