thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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