dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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