You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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