My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize