he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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