You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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