I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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