You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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