In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize