Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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