I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I currently don't understand fingers.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize