So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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