Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
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I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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