It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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