I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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