Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize