New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize