I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize