Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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