How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize