i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize