I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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