Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize