Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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