After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
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Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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