I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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