he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize