4 words: hood of his car
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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