and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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