All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
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Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
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You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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