it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She announced her abortion via fbk
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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