listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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