btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize