Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
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I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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