And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
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Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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