She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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