Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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