I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize