We should be called the Road Head Warriors
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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