Define "chronic" masturbator.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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