i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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