I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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