i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize