every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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